butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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