Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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