I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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