I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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