garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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