apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize