his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
