yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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