Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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