I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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