I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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