I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
