My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
