you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
