he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
only you would photoshop your dick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
