one two three fourrrrnication!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
