I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
