We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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