Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
