69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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