You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
