I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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