Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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