I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
