Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
