I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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