Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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