Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
