Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
