I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
