While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
