he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
