But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
