you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
