I was born with a shot glass in my hand
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dicks are not precious.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
