told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
