He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize