i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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