For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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