Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
