Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
