Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
