My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
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I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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