his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
