their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
