I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
