I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
