She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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