is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
