shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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