jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
