What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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