Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
