The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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