I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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