my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
