I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
