he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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