Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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