if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
