I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
