Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
