Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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