My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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