You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
