i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
