Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
