How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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