ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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