the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
