It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
