I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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