He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
