I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
